The First First

Everyone says that the first year of the loss of a loved one is the hardest. It is the series of "firsts" that make that journey challenging. My first comes too soon - just 32 days after Mom's passing and it will be - in my opinion - the most difficult. My birthday is 2 days away and I'm am already keanly aware that for the first time in 58 years, I won't hear my Mom wish me "Happy Birthday". This makes me incredibly sad as I embrace my biggest fear - that of being an orphan and being alone. I thank God that through Christ I will never be alone and He has released me from the fear that gripped me so. I am an orphan now, with no siblings, but I am grateful for my husband, children, extended family and friends who stand in the gap. I am sad because of this "first," but I am not crippled by its loneliness, for I will carry her in my heart for the rest of my days. I am steadfast in the faith of my Lord Jesus Christ just as she taught me by her example  - and that is the best birthday present a daughter could ever receive.